Why do you wake?

I live to be alive. The ultimate feeling of life is to feast, to drink, to have relationships, to discover both the external and internal worlds. I live so I can love. I hurt so I can love again. I wake up so I can fill my day and once my body is tired I rest my head to prepare for the next. 
I wake because I was given a gift. I wake because I have the possibility to wake. 

I wake because I believe there will come a day where life will be peace, where all heartbeats will be free, where the world will live on love.

War between one

A world living in fear is a world living under the control of evil.The Buddhists believe that when one is confronted with evil the only way to defeat it is to give them love and kindness as this evil was developed on hate, anger, fear and blame. 

To believe in evil is to live in fear. I don’t believe in evil, I believe in light and dark. 
A state of darkness where one sees no future, you care not for yourself or others. Not being able to see. Not having hope. 

One becomes lost. 
Stephen hawking once said that “As long as there is life, there is hope.”
To the families that have lost, suffered and will suffer, I have you in my thoughts and prayers.
To those who wish to do harm. 

I am sorry. I am sorry for not seeing you as I see myself. I am sorry I didn’t think of your beliefs as equal to mine. I am sorry I didn’t include you in my life, like I did others. I am sorry I didn’t give you the light when you asked and needed it. I am sorry on behalf of us, the separated. 
You see I am weak, I let the stories of the past, the stories of others, and the stories of what if, control my belief. 

I am not as perfect as you may think. 

I am human, find it in you to forgive me and let’s live together in this world. It was made so we can live here in peace. 
We are one world, we are one species, we will all die if we don’t start living like one.

Pointless. A depressing look at life.

Lately i have been thinking a lot about a very depressing topic, the point of life.
I am writing this hoping it brings some clarity to me and i can find a solution.

I am a free spirit. The wind takes me to where i need to go. I look to settle but there has been nothing anywhere i go that offers me a chance to do so. What does one do? I feel i am watching life pass me by as i live each day just trying to survive. Yes my life is very different from most but, is it really? Maybe my problem is this.. maybe i am looking for too much, expecting too much. Maybe i should just not worry about my future and worry about today and tomorrow and leave everything else to the wind. Let the wind guide me to the places i need to go. 

There is no life for me in the office environment. This makes it very difficult for a youngster to try start a new life. Everything these days has become unrealistically expensive and this is resulting in a huge increase in the depression within the youth. I can see it in me, and i have been told many times that my strength and ability to rise out of the ashes is inspirational. But this inspiration doesn’t pay for food. 
What i do has no value to anyone. As soon as i ask for some sort of payment, my work is dumped in the trash. Why? Why do i have this dark cloud that holds me back from achieving anything. As soon as something goes right, everything else goes wrong. Is it just me who is getting tired of playing these games? I hope it is because if it isn’t i feel sorry for those who experience what i do. I wish not this type of struggle upon anyone. 

I have been trying to get cheep land and basic structures in the mountains. Not to serve my selfish greed, but to help people who are lost like i am. Maybe this is the problem. I am looking for a place to help those who are like me before i look for a place who can help me. But the place i wish to set up and run doesn’t help me the same way it helps others. Getting the place, having something fixed and strong is what i need. This floating around is depressing. I need a place to land and sink my roots. I look back on my life and i have noticed that i have always just floated around, like the wind. Everyone knows i exist but no one notices whether i am there or not. My “friends” at school used to come and go frequently, opportunities came and went just as frequently. Nothing ever came of anything i have ever done in my life. Maybe its because i was weak. Maybe i gave up to easily. I don’t thing this is the case, as if it were then why am i still here and not back to my comfort zone?

I feel i have a purpose. My purpose is to help all those who i can. And in away i have managed that. I gave a life an opportunity to change and gave it the equipment to make that change and it was successful. Maybe that is it. Maybe like the trees told me, just stop running and trust in us. Maybe this is what i need to do. Trust that i will settle when i find my place. Part of me agrees and part doesn’t. I am here, i didn’t come here to do nothing, so what did i come here for? 

I do believe the wind and trees guide me to where i need to be. For me to be where i am would be impossible if it didn’t work like this. But if it does work like this then why is everything so hard? Do i have to struggle even more then i am already?
I’ll tell you what i am going to do. Take a deep breath in… and exhale all expectations of success and ease. I am going to breath in the life that is here and as i exhale i prepare to just make the most of what i have.
I am not a stupid person and many this makes life more difficult, but damn i feel like there is no hope in this world. 

Been thinking 

With regards to farming animals for meat. 

Why did we ever start killing them? Time kills everything and in the most peaceful way possible, if we would look after the animals and care for them. Let them live a full life in a good environment we would still have meat at the end. Death is a natural event, we make is come sooner then it should because we are greedy. 

I think farms should change to this way of life. Animals are only eaten when they die of old age. This also ensures that they are treated the best way possible. And sorry but your steak doesn’t need to be butter soft.