Paws in my soul

They say dogs are angels sent down to earth to help people feel Unconditional love. Honestly, my first few dogs in the family didn’t touch me at all. I felt happy when I saw them and sad when they went but did we have a relationship, not more than just friends. My world changed when I met a girl and she had a dog. 

The first paw print to be left in my soul was one from a Border collie named Xabi. This dog changed my life and opened the doors to where I belong in this world. The relationship between me and Xabi’s owner was a very fragile one and had many ups and downs. Xabi and I were best friends and there for each other at all times. You see at first I thought the problem was with me. However, when I looked in his eyes I could see he felt the same way I felt. The first time in my life where I felt I wasn’t alone. Where I felt and saw that my self and this brown-eyed lanky border collie were of the same heart and soul. This moment got me addicted to finding more. After about 12 months of this emotional roller coaster of a relationship, I started seeing the effect it had on Xabi, the choice between two people he loves. I didn’t want to case this dog pain and so I looked for my own set of paws that I could run with. Thus the second paw was placed in my soul.

This paw belonged to my dog named Altair. From the moment we met we were best friends and very soon we noticed that this was a relationship that was well beyond the realms of this world. I knew every thought that went through his mind, and he knew mine. We took the dog world by storm. He gave me a strength that would push me through an emotional suicide and life-changing adventure. This dog taught me things about dogs that I have never been able to learn or get explanations from any behaviourist or trainer. He was my angel that connected me to a world that was worth living in. The need for more brought the next paw.

Ksora, never have I seen a dog who thinks as much as she does. This little girl has refined my ability to understand a dimension of dogs that many people don’t believe exists. The rounded mind. Well, that is what I call it. In a simple explanation, it is the ability to see a situation, think of solutions, and assess the risks, alter the plan based on unexpected changes and not rely on being told what to do. At first, this came as a bit of a shock and frustration. I would ask for one thing and she would do another. It took me 20 000kms and training in Switzerland, Germany, Italy and Croatia before I would find a way to work with this super intelligent mind. Did my dedication to this cause pay off? Well, we compete in dog agility internationally and are always in the spotlight, with judges around the world rating Ksora as the future world champion and competitors asking how I did it. 

With my soft gentle soulmate Altair and my crazy smart Ksora, we would change the world. This mission started with a trip. A trip across the world to show people that there isn’t a reason great enough to separate an owner from their dog, besides the thought that we more important than them. We travelled from South Africa which is where our home was with all our family, to Europe. All this without a job, and income or stability. We would put ourselves in the most difficult environments that a family could end up in and we would show that there was a way to make it work. The aim was never to place my dogs needs below mine. What was to come of this trip has now become my purpose in life. But we will get to that later. I came to Europe to show people that there are no impossibilities when having dogs. This goal didn’t have any effect on people, but what did start taking effect was the people we were meeting on the way. We started changing the opinions about dogs where ever we went. Encountering many people who hated and feared dogs. Many people who saw dogs as just an animal that should be left in the garden and given food and water because that is all they need. These people meeting us in coffee shops or in the parks and experiencing the bond my pack and I have started something. They started seeing what is possible with a dog. It changed their reality. Created a spark in their eyes. I saw the tears of the old as they shared their stories of their dogs who once ran. I felt the struggle of the good-hearted who have rescued past problems. I have smelt the fear in the mistaken mothers. My trip across the world became about changing the image of dogs in a whole. To teach, touch and take people to the world where angels chase balls. 

My dogs have not only changed lives, not only wowed those they encounter, but they have given me a route in life that makes this world seem worth fighting for. They have pulled me through depression, altered my ADHD tendencies, given me ears who listen and do not judge me, given me a reason to wake in the morning and experience life. 
So are these animals just a mouth to feed and a form of security? Or do they have a world of good to share with us? Can they change who we are? Can they alter our soul? We know they touch our heart but are they able to change our being? Guide you to where you belong? My dogs have done all this and more. I will never stop showing the world the possibilities and try to eliminate this mindset that dogs are “just dogs”. 

The shadows behind the photos

I have gotten a lot of negative feedback from people over the last 12 months, as I ask for support in the form of sponsorships I get told that I am not able to ask for any support due to the fact that I am living the dream everyone else wishes to live. Well I can promise it’s not all just beautiful landscapes and pretty pictures. 

I have given up my house for a tent,

I have given up my car for a pair of hiking shoes,

I have given up my bed for a blanket on the floor, 

I have given up my family and friends for a community that doesn’t understand me,

I have given up breakfast and lunch many days so I can afford to take my dogs out and have fun,

I have given everything up to live my life,

I made the choice to reach for my dream and I live it.

Is it always easy? No

Can I manage to survive here? I don’t know.

Do I struggle to put food on my plate? Yes.

Do my dogs ever go hungry? No. 

Do they ever stay at home? No. 

Would I change my life? No. 

If I am asking for support, it’s not because I am looking for an easy way out, it’s not because I want you to feel sorry for me. It is purely because I am not able to carry on posting those beautiful photos, it is because I can’t give my dogs the most amazing experiences 

I ask for help because everything I do here I do it to help and change the world for dogs. And I don’t ask them to pay me for that. 


News

We have been struggling lately, we bought a camper about 10 months ago and it has been impossible to have it registered here in Italy, it has drained our money and has stopped us from travelling, I am hoping we manage to fix the problems and push on but it is not easy. 

We did manage to get to Croatia for a few days. It wasn’t really a holiday as we were there for training but the dogs had Fun so I guess it counts. Well here are some pics

War between one

A world living in fear is a world living under the control of evil.The Buddhists believe that when one is confronted with evil the only way to defeat it is to give them love and kindness as this evil was developed on hate, anger, fear and blame. 

To believe in evil is to live in fear. I don’t believe in evil, I believe in light and dark. 
A state of darkness where one sees no future, you care not for yourself or others. Not being able to see. Not having hope. 

One becomes lost. 
Stephen hawking once said that “As long as there is life, there is hope.”
To the families that have lost, suffered and will suffer, I have you in my thoughts and prayers.
To those who wish to do harm. 

I am sorry. I am sorry for not seeing you as I see myself. I am sorry I didn’t think of your beliefs as equal to mine. I am sorry I didn’t include you in my life, like I did others. I am sorry I didn’t give you the light when you asked and needed it. I am sorry on behalf of us, the separated. 
You see I am weak, I let the stories of the past, the stories of others, and the stories of what if, control my belief. 

I am not as perfect as you may think. 

I am human, find it in you to forgive me and let’s live together in this world. It was made so we can live here in peace. 
We are one world, we are one species, we will all die if we don’t start living like one.

1 year and going strong

So it has officially been 1 year that my dogs and I have been travelling. Well I can tell you that it definitely didn’t go the way we planned but if has been perfect, we have had the most amazing times, met the most amazing people and seen the most amazing places. I am thankful for the people who have helped us with our travel and with our necessities. We are not done yet. Unfortunately travelling will still be done on an extremely low budget, but will be following the road that the wind guides us along. I stand here 12 months from the person I was, I can’t believe that that was me. Who I have become and what I have had to do has left me in a state of disbelief. From here we go forward. 

Freedom, the miss understood concept.

Freedom 
Freedom is a very loosely understood word. Lots of spiritual teachers and philosophers have looked into freedom with regards to our beings. What does it mean to be free? 
I had a definition of freedom that I feel is still pretty strong with regards to a ‘being’ being free. It goes, “Freedom is a state of nothingness, held by unconditional love for ones self and their surroundings.”

To be free of stress, one has no stress. To be free of cancer, one has no cancer. To be free of work, one has no work. Free is seen mostly as not having. Freedom would then mean that it’s not having anything. All aspects of life are free. 
What is freedom to you? Not having to go to work every day I order to pay for food and a place to live? Not having debt, debt gained by needs that are materialistic? Not having religious restrictions? Not having racial restrictions? Not having gender restrictions? Not having any restrictions?Not having reason to want something?

Freedom In a general sense is the ability to live life without having someone else controlling what you do. 
Freedom is impossible to achieve, why? Well it’s a creation of the system to give us the understanding that freedom is different from being alive. When we look at the general idea of freedom(as written above), it is closely linked to the definition of being alive. We are all working towards being alive? 
The system creating a goal to be alive? That would cause great failure in the support of the system. Creat a well knit web of miss understanding and make all look to that as the goal.

Breaking down whether being alive is a given thing or if it is something that one needs to achieve nowadays. 
A man who is in ICU on machines that are breathing for him, keeping his heart beating, regulating his vitals but he is in a coma. Is this man alive? It is hard to say, or maybe we just don’t want to say it. No, he is not alive according to me. He is incapable of doing anything. Without the machines he would enter the process of decomposition. Can one be present in this world and not be alive? Yes I would say so. Look at most of us humans, we are being supported by this machine but are incapable of doing anything on our own. Are we alive? What makes us any different from the man in the coma? Since being alive is a must, to control the population they change the definition slightly and give it a new name, Freedom.

Freedom and being alive are sort of the same thing, well then what would freedom mean if we all had achieved being alive?
Freedom is a state of life where one lives without “sin”(lust, greed, gluttony, anger, pride, sloth) Out of religious reference, Freedom is a state where one lives in peace with the mind, heart, soul and universal energy. 

“Freedom is a state of nothingness, held by unconditional love for ones self and their surroundings.”

Pointless. A depressing look at life.

Lately i have been thinking a lot about a very depressing topic, the point of life.
I am writing this hoping it brings some clarity to me and i can find a solution.

I am a free spirit. The wind takes me to where i need to go. I look to settle but there has been nothing anywhere i go that offers me a chance to do so. What does one do? I feel i am watching life pass me by as i live each day just trying to survive. Yes my life is very different from most but, is it really? Maybe my problem is this.. maybe i am looking for too much, expecting too much. Maybe i should just not worry about my future and worry about today and tomorrow and leave everything else to the wind. Let the wind guide me to the places i need to go. 

There is no life for me in the office environment. This makes it very difficult for a youngster to try start a new life. Everything these days has become unrealistically expensive and this is resulting in a huge increase in the depression within the youth. I can see it in me, and i have been told many times that my strength and ability to rise out of the ashes is inspirational. But this inspiration doesn’t pay for food. 
What i do has no value to anyone. As soon as i ask for some sort of payment, my work is dumped in the trash. Why? Why do i have this dark cloud that holds me back from achieving anything. As soon as something goes right, everything else goes wrong. Is it just me who is getting tired of playing these games? I hope it is because if it isn’t i feel sorry for those who experience what i do. I wish not this type of struggle upon anyone. 

I have been trying to get cheep land and basic structures in the mountains. Not to serve my selfish greed, but to help people who are lost like i am. Maybe this is the problem. I am looking for a place to help those who are like me before i look for a place who can help me. But the place i wish to set up and run doesn’t help me the same way it helps others. Getting the place, having something fixed and strong is what i need. This floating around is depressing. I need a place to land and sink my roots. I look back on my life and i have noticed that i have always just floated around, like the wind. Everyone knows i exist but no one notices whether i am there or not. My “friends” at school used to come and go frequently, opportunities came and went just as frequently. Nothing ever came of anything i have ever done in my life. Maybe its because i was weak. Maybe i gave up to easily. I don’t thing this is the case, as if it were then why am i still here and not back to my comfort zone?

I feel i have a purpose. My purpose is to help all those who i can. And in away i have managed that. I gave a life an opportunity to change and gave it the equipment to make that change and it was successful. Maybe that is it. Maybe like the trees told me, just stop running and trust in us. Maybe this is what i need to do. Trust that i will settle when i find my place. Part of me agrees and part doesn’t. I am here, i didn’t come here to do nothing, so what did i come here for? 

I do believe the wind and trees guide me to where i need to be. For me to be where i am would be impossible if it didn’t work like this. But if it does work like this then why is everything so hard? Do i have to struggle even more then i am already?
I’ll tell you what i am going to do. Take a deep breath in… and exhale all expectations of success and ease. I am going to breath in the life that is here and as i exhale i prepare to just make the most of what i have.
I am not a stupid person and many this makes life more difficult, but damn i feel like there is no hope in this world.